I'm not real sure if it was so long ago that I don't remember, or possibly that I was so young I didn't pay that much attention to the innocent things Joshua or Amanda said when they were little. I was only 19 when Joshua was born and 22 when Amanda was born. At that time in my life, I was in a far from ideal place in my marriage (but continued on for 9 years) that I now regret not paying attention to the little things that my kids did to make me laugh or smile. I hope that doesn't make me a bad mother, but if so, at least it's something I work very hard on now.
Anyway...yesterday Samuel and Carter were given a balloon while shopping in Wal-Mart with my Mom. She explained to them to hold on very tight because once outside the balloons could fly away. Of course I could have predicted that either one or both would fly away once outside.
It happened to be Samuel's little red balloon that got away. (Carter was holding his for dear life!) Naturally, he was upset. Well, great thinking on my Mom's part...she said "Don't be sad, you just made someone in heaven really happy today." This got Samuel asking questions about how the balloon would travel there and who would be getting it. He asked if maybe his Grandma Gail (Tommy's mother that passed away a few years ago) would be getting the balloon. My Mom say, "Maybe". Samuel thought about this for a few minutes before saying, "I wish I could go to heaven to see Gma Gail and get my balloon back." My Mom said, "Oh, I don't want you to go to heaven right now...I would miss you way to much." Samuel responded, "Oh, I will be right back...I will only be gone a minute."
I have to say that when my Mom told me this story, I just sat here wondering if I was ever going to remember these precious stories. Honestly, I don't remember very many from Joshua and Amanda younger years and that makes me very sad. I hope by keeping this journal and sharing it with my friends that somehow they won't be forgotten.
The Best Defense is a Good Offense
21 hours ago
And that's why we do this :)
ReplyDeleteMarried at 18, Levi at 20, Maci at 23. I was too caught up in a bad marriage to "have time" to cherish the little memories with Levi and Maci. Lots of memories I don't have and should. I know exactly how you feel. It doesn't make you a bad mother. But I think with our two "little guys" and from now on in the future with our "old kids" we're being given a second chance. At least we learned from the past, some people never do.
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