Can You Hear Me Now?

I am happy to say that Samuel's hearing aid appointment went better than I ever anticipated yesterday. Maybe it was because of the in-depth conversation that I had with him prior to the appointment. He was very eager to try on his new "superman" hearing aids and was actually happy that he was able to hear better. It was a huge relief to me that he liked wearing them and didn't seem to pick or tug at them.

It's amazing how something so little can help so much. Samuel choose blue and white swirl ear molds and the hearing devise is see-through. I am keeping my fingers crossed that he won't get made fun of by the other kids....I guess I will know if and when he decides not to wear them anymore. I hope that the ability to hear better will over rule the cruel things that children can say to each other...but I guess we will find out.

To some very sad news....our dog Macy (a 3 yr old female weimaraner) ran off a few days ago. I had hoped that she would find her way back like she has before....however she was found along the side of the road yesterday. My heart breaks that she had to die of such tragic death. I complained a lot because she was such a pain....she loved me the most and always was attached to me, which irritated me most days. Today, I would do anything to have that back. She just loved my attention. I hope she is happy in dog heaven....I will miss her beautiful eyes and spunky personality!

On to some better news.... Things are looking up for Tommy's job crisis. There has been quite a bit of talk that our state representatives are not behind the City taking over the MUD. I don't believe that it will happen during this session...however, that's not to say that it never will. The City is pretty serious about doing whatever it takes to acquire the MUD. Just as long as Tommy can still retire as planned with his full benefits...I don't care. Also the board of directors have made it clear that the employee will be taken care of...so that eases our mind somewhat.

Back into the Grove...

I loved visiting Brandi...however, I am glad to be home. You never know how much your loved and needed until you go away. The boys missed me...Amanda really missed me....and Tommy, well lets just say he is glad the maid, chauffeur, keeper of peace, and leader of the monsters; is finally home.

We really had the best time. On Friday, we spent the afternoon watching "He's Really Not That Into You", eating popcorn and enjoying each others company before heading to the mall. It felt like old times walking around browsing just like we did in high school. When we left the mall after a wonderful dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, we were greeted by old man winter and some beautiful snow. I felt somewhat like a little girl....it's been years since I have seen snow. On Saturday, it was a very relaxing and fun day. We spent the better part of 6 hours pouring over old photo albums and scrapbooks. We really did have some spectacular times together. Growing up was so fun and carefree...I say that now...back then it felt like work and drama.

Later that evening we met up with our old friend, Mike Mansanares and his wife for dinner. It was so much fun to laugh at old memories and stories. We did a little class reunion planning, but overall it was just a big catch up session.

The plane ride home was very relaxing....a time to collect my thoughts without..."Mom, can I have a drink? Mom, he's hitting me. I'm hungry." It was a great end to an already fantastic weekend. Next time, I won't let 12 years pass until I do it again.

Things are back to normal around my house. I am still scrambling around at 6am looking for two little shoes that match, signing the boys homework (can you believe they have that in pre-K?), and leaving money on the kitchen counter for the other two. I got back into the swing of working out...I really did miss it....really! It has given me time to clear my head and I find that on stressful days, my workouts are even better. I think I am seeing my body changing shapes...at least I hope so. The results have to start showing soon.

Just Push Pause

Thus far, my get-a-way to Colorado has been nothing less than perfect. Brandi and I have had the best time catching up. I have to admit that I was very nervous upon arriving. Twenty years since saying goodbye after graduation, and twelve years without seeing each other is enough to make anyone nervous. Our lives are very different than it was all those years ago.... but I feel like our friendship has picked up right where it left off.

We spend yesterday pouring over old photos and high school memories....and so many to memories that we both had forgotten. Big hair days, old boyfriends, and drunken nights of chaos, drama, drama and more drama. Later, we enjoyed a girls day out complete with a chick flick, shopping and nice relaxing dinner. It really is what I needed after a super stressful week.

Today, our plans include more girl talk... you can never get enough of that. We do have plans to meet a few other high school friends tonight for dinner tonight. It will be a fun evening full of memories, laughs and I'm sure good company.

Tomorrow, I will head home...back to the kiddo's and hubby. As much as I enjoy some "me" time, I am very anxious to be home in the company of my family. I will admit that as hectic and busy as my life gets...it is my life and I love it!

I am so glad that I made this trip and we are absolutely going to do it again without letting 12 years pass us by. I am so happy that time, family, and life in general has not changed our friendship. It's like someone just pushed pause on the remote for 20 years......

Life is Like A Roller Coaster...Not A Box of Chocolates

For once...everything with the boys is settled and going good, however, I feel like the "reality devil" watches over me just to spring something bad on me just when it starts getting good. This week has been such an emotional one for me for many, many different reasons.

We got word a few days ago that after 22+ years of employment...my husband's job could be in serious jeopardy. We are trying very hard to hold on to each thread of hope, however it's not looking good. Tommy works for a municipality utility district (MUD) which has never been associated with the city. Now that his district is 99% full, the city is taking a bill to the legislature next month to take over the MUD. This means at least the top four people, which Tommy is one of, will most likely be out of a job. This is devastating for us as he is only 4 years away from retirement. I don't have to remind anyone about what an awful time it is to be looking for another job....and although he won't loose the money in his retirement fund..it will be 20 more years before he can collect from it. So, as you can imagine my stress level...along with all my other mental demons....is sky high.

Certainly a position that I would have never in a million years thought we would be in.....so now we just wait. I refuse to loose all hope....as I am just not a negative person...but it is very hard.

On a brighter note...because anything could be brighter....I am sooooo excited to be heading up to Denver today. I am so happy to be visiting my old, but very young looking, friend from high school. Brandi and I have not seen each other for at least 12 years, so this will be a very fun weekend of catching up. We do have an additional agenda...which is to finalize our 20th year class reunion for this summer.

So regardless..it sounds like the perfect remedy to my stress.

Thanks Cupid For A Wonderful Night!

Thank god that Valentine's Day was a Saturday this year. However, it all started for me on Friday.....after 10 years, I think he finally has the hang of it. Tommy has never had flowers delivered to me, he has always believed that delivering them himself was so much better. I have to say, he's right about that. So Friday afternoon, he stops in to deliver my mix of red roses and pink star gazers...after all they are my favorite. In addition, he knows that chocolate covered strawberries will score him extra points. I did indulge myself with 3 of the 4 strawberries that afternoon and ummmmm they were good.

Saturday, I did have to work and it was.....miserable. I knew that he had plans for Saturday night, which were a surprise. That means....I have to act surprised because he has yet to pull one over on me. With 18 years experience of being a Mom (always having one eye open) and 4 children....it takes lot to surprise me.

So I was dressed on time in my nice white shirt and denim skirt for dinner at our local Italian Resturant and night out of dancing afterwards. I also knew that our good friends, Chris and Jaime, were joining us. Our dinner was very good, wine was great and friends were fantastic. We had such a fun time. The club was full as usual and over all the night was a lot of fun. I did indulge myself with a little too much alcohol....however, it was light beer and how could 6 shots of a buttery nipple hurt anyone? I absolutely love whoever came up with that one....should be served in a tall glass and not a small one. Bunch of teasers!

This Valentine's Day....it was awesome!

I Miss Them Already......

It has been a very good week for both boys at school. Samuel is finishing his 2nd week, while Carter is finishing his first. Both are doing very well and have adjusted great! I spoke to Samuel's teacher yesterday and she had high praises for him, which of course made me very proud. "Samuel has very good manners in the classroom and is a very good boy." Now what mother doesn't like to hear that? I know he plays hard while there because each night about 7:30 he literally asks to go to bed. Which is very good for Mommy and Daddy time!

Carter's teacher doted on him as well saying he was the sweetest child. He is always in such a great mood and full of hugs and kisses. Riding the bus never bothered him, in fact, we laugh because he is so little he has to crawl on all fours up the stairs just to get on. It's cute! His little legs are just not big enough for that first step.

Yesterday was my first day off without the boys....and it was awesome! Don't get me wrong, I love them to death. It was a full day of running around, but not having to take kids in and out of the car ever 5 seconds really helps. I started off taking Samuel back to the Audiologist to get fitted for his hearing aids. They should be in next week and I am just keeping my fingers crossed that he wears them without too much trouble.

Then it was back to school for Samuel....After that I was able to meet a good friend for brunch, which was awesome since I never get to do that. Then came my workout session and boy did it feel good. After that I treated myself to a pedicure before picking up Amanda from school and taking her to physical therapy. Yea...got to see that hot therapist again! Then home to get the boys off the school bus...back to pick up Amanda from PT and drop her off to get her hair highlighted. Rush to the store for some last minute Valentines Day shopping....pick Amanda back up and drop her off for a quick tan at the tanning place....then finally home! Ugh.... exhausted but happy with my day. Can't wait for the next day off....oh wait.....next week I will be spending my time off with my BFF from high school. Traveling to Colorado will be such a fun get away for me! I can't wait!

Carter's First Day

Now.... I really feel old. All my babies are enrolled in school full time, which leaves me feeling somewhat abandoned. We dropped Carter off this morning without any problems....he was a big boy as I expected he would be, and as for me...well, I was a big girl too. I have to say that it is very quiet here at work this morning and the drive home will be very peaceful for Tommy and I as there will be no arguing in the back seat.

Yesterday, Amanda and I spent 12 hours painting her room. I wasn't really excited about what she wanted to do....however, it turned out very cute. We bought pink and purple paint and painted 15" horizontal stripes around the room. Super cute if I should say so myself. Tommy, took one look and rolled his eyes practically out of his head. Guess that means he doesn't like it. My legs feel like jello from climbing up and down the ladder all day long in addition to the hour work out that we did in between colors.

Oh...and by the way....I am so happy that I have lost 8 lbs. in the two weeks that I started working out. Really, I only have 39 more to go to reach my initial goal. I will just keep working at it the best I can...but I am encouraged!

The Close of A CRAZY Week

What started out as the week from hell as ended well.

Samuel is really enjoying school and has adjusted to riding the bus. He is really beginning to act like a school aged child....he said last night very excited, "So I get to sleep in tomorrow and stay home from school?" Never has that been a concern of his, and of course 6:45 am does not constitute sleeping in in my book. Which is why I am sitting here typing this at 7:15am on a peaceful Saturday morning.

Carter finished his last day at his old school yesterday and is anxious to start his new one on Monday. I promise not to be a basket case next week. He is my brave one so I don't anticipate any problems, crying, ect. It will be very strange not seeing either of them all day as one or both of them have been with me at work for the past 3 years. Maybe now I will get some work done.

Joshua is officially assigned to a dorm room for college next fall. It makes this too real for me. I can't believe that small baby that I rocked in the middle of the night while watching the Gulf War on TV is grown up now. We are still in FASFA hell as we continue to finish this financial aid packet. He started applying for scholarships yesterday and I am just keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out okay.

Amanda attended the funeral of her friend Hyatt yesterday. Finally a little closure for her on this. Time does heal all wounds and she is doing much better. While I am talking about her....I wanted to pat her on the back a little as I am very proud of her. I talked to the H.S. Counselor yesterday to find out that Miss Amanda is ranked 32 out of 289 in her class. Her GPA right now is 5.6. Since she is a perfectionist...wonder where she got that from....she isn't happy that 31 others are smarter than her. Seriously?

Tommy is out today pretending to be 20 years younger than he is. He is competing in a trials competition. That is skill motorcycle riding for those who aren't familiar. I hope he comes back in one piece, but just as long as he has fun.....

I have been very happy with my progress on working out. It has gotten easier and satisifing. Now maybe I can loose that extra 50 lbs that has been looming over/on me for years. It certainly has been helpful in dealing with my already hectic lifestyle.

Everyday Is A New Beginning!

Thank god yesterday is over! It truly was the day from hell for me.

It began with Samuel clinging to me as he got on the bus. Everything was fine until he walked up the stairs. Then he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, "No Mom...I don't want to go." It just broke my heart. The bus driver wasn't much help either because she never said one single word (Hi, it's ok, don't worry he will be fine), NOTHING! Of course that made me feel even worse. I said to Samuel, "You will be fine. I love you. I will see you here when you get off this afternoon." and turned around and walked away. Of course I was crying like a baby....it just killed me.

Later on in the day I picked up Samuel from school for an ear doctor appointment. The school wanted us to see a local doctor in case he needs special hearing devices for school. The doctor recommenced Samuel have hearing aids. There is no question that he can hear, but the tests show not very well. The doctor thinks that he has learned to adapt to his environment. The bad news is that our insurance does not cover hearing aids for children...only adults. They are expected to run between $2-3K. I have to admit....I didn't see that coming.

Amazingly enough when I took him back to school just before lunch...he didn't even cry. Must be the bus... However, I spent the rest of the afternoon getting Carter all registered for school. He will start Monday. In doing so, we walked past the play ground where Samuel happened to catch a glimpse of us. Yes, he started crying all over again, and he was crushed that he couldn't leave with me. I broke his heart twice in one day.

He was happy to see me when he got off the bus. Yep...they remembered to drop him off this time. In fact, this morning he didn't even cry when he got on. YEA!! I am keeping my fingers crossed that we are over the hump. It will help next week when Carter starts riding the bus too...At least they can keep each other company.

Oh.... what a day it was....hope I never have one of those for a while. Made Samuel cry twice, made Carter cry with his THREE immunizations, Joshua is sick and went to the doctor, got the shock of the hearing aids, my husband wasn't very sympathetic of my stressful day and Amanda...well....she is the typical teenage girl.

So at the end of the day....I took my frustrations out at the gym. I spent an hour on the elliptical machine. I managed to burn 600 calories, and go 5 miles. I was so proud of myself as that is the longest and hardest I have worked out in a very long time....and it felt soooo refreshing after the day I had.

Yep...I Knew The Bus Would Ruin The day!

The day went fantastic for Samuel up until he got on the bus. I had a feeling that would be where the problems began. Since I am an overly organized person and feel the need to instruct my children exactly step by step....I guess I forgot to mention the bus ride in detail to him.

According to the driver...He got on the bus just fine, however, when the first stop came and it wasn't our street...he panicked. Obviously, I forgot to mention that the bus follows a route and would not be taking him directly home. oops! She said he cried from the first stop on.

Then to make matters worse....while Amanda was waiting patiently at the corner....the bus kept going while Samuel's little face was pressed against the window. Of course she called me in a panic that they bus never stopped to let him off, so I quickly called and the driver was quick to turn around and drop him off. Poor baby.... I knew something like this would happen. He told Amanda..."I saw you, but she didn't stop." sniff, sniff

We got word today that Carter has been approved to start pre-K also, so I get to do all this again next Monday.

I'm Not As Brave As A 5-yr Old

I am so happy to say that dropping off Samuel for his first day of "big" school went great! He certainly was brave and excited as we walked him in. I was so nervous...just short of a full out panic attack... complete with a big lump in my throat and tears just about to fall from my eyes.

We walked him into the cafeteria to meet the teacher and the other kids. He walked in confident and ready. The room was buzzing with K-5th graders eating breakfast and wondering why this little boy had his Mommy and Daddy walking him in. Oh well.... We reached his group and Carter sat down and made himself at home like he was staying.

We said our brief good-byes, love yous, and have a good day. Tommy bent down to dote on him a little more before I poked him in the ribs with "Lets go". As I walked away...almost in tears...I looked back to see him looking around with an excited look on his face.

I will admit when I got to work around 9am, I did call and see how he was doing. One would think this was my first rodeo....but noooo I have several other clowns too. I was just so terrified that he would be scared. I guess he could have been, but he kept a brave face. I guess it might have been the bribe of a new toy at the end of the week if he acted like a "big boy". Who knows.....

At Least We Can Bond

A few days ago, with the encouragement of Amanda and a few good friends, I joined the Anytime Fitness that is just a rocks throw from our house. There is no question that I need to loose some weight and Amanda...well the girl doesn't have an ounce of fat on her...just wanted to keep in shape for two a day volleyball that will be starting mid-summer.


I have to admit that so far is has been very refreshing and I certainly feel better about doing it. I have even managed to get my ass out of bed at 5am and drive down there. Maybe this will be the summer for me to look decent in a swim suit. If all else fails...at least it will be a bonding experience for us.


A few days ago, Amanda experienced the loss of a dear friend. Hyatt, a 16 yr old sophomore at a neighboring high school, died in a car accident Friday night. We have had several talks about Hyatt and his death. I just don't know how to help ease her sadness. She keeps saying she doesn't know how to get past it, especially without crying. I have tried to explain that death is all a part of life. While it hurts our hearts and we miss them, our life has to go on...and I am sure that is what Hyatt would want. I told her to remember him, talk about him to insure that he isn't forgotten.

And to make matters worse, the "boy" never got the chance to take the grocery store test....he said he just wanted to be "friends." Another broken heart for me to mend.


On another subject...I am so relieved and happy to have Joshua home. It's been 10 days and I feel like this was a trial run for college. I am sure I will survive, but I really missed him and I am so happy to have all my kids home under the same roof.


Samuel starts school tomorrow and I hope for all our sakes,I can hold myself together. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that he has a fun first day.


Carter's appointment with the Russian translator was what we had expected. He was not able to understand or communicate with her at all. After hearing what we describe as jibber jabber, she confirmed that small children in orphanages develop their own type of language that only other orphans can understand. Lack of stimulation forces them to find their own way of speaking. So...with no Russian, and a small amount of English under his belt, he definitely needs speech therapy. The therapist says that he is basically learning the foundation of language skills at the age of 4 1/2 vs. birth. Unfortunately, the law is very funny about this...so she is trying to find a way to bend and twist the rules so that Carter can qualify for speech services without being labeled as "special ed".


And these are the days of our lives.......