Summer Update

We are in our 15th straight day of triple digit temperatures (104' today)....that's to say that if you don't want heat stroke, you should stay inside between the hours of noon and 7pm. Unless of course you find yourself in a nearby 90' pool. The dogs are even fighting to breathe during these hours.

I am doing my best to recover. I have to say that this is really the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. I feel physically that I am doing very well. The movement around my back is getting better and stronger every day. I am finally able to do the little things that we all take for granted such as putting on socks and shoes, shaving my legs, and even showering without help. My mental state, however, is not as strong. The doctors have said that it is all the spinal meningitis and that my brain swelling has had many consequences including exhaustion, depression, lack of sleep, vomiting, headaches, ect, ect, ect. Yep, I have all of them and seem to be able to cry at the drop of a hat. Really, I just want to feel normal again. Some days are better than others and I am sure as supportive as my family is....they are very sick of all the tears. I still have the IV/pick in my right arm and administer this super duper strong antibiotic every 12 hours. I am very anxious because exactly one week from today...July 2nd...I get this IV taken out. I have been looking forward to that day for 8 weeks now. That means, I can take shower without a bag taped on my arm, I can swim with kids, and I don't have to worry about what I'm doing at 8am and 8pm.

Josh has been working all summer, I feel like I hardly get to see him. Guess I had better get used to it since he leaves for college in August. His dorm room is reserved up at Texas Tech and orientation is next month to visit the campus and choose his classes. I can't believe all the hoops you have to jump through for college registration and financial aide.

Amanda has been a god send. She has been amazing helping to take care of me and the boys at the same time. She has driven me to doctor appts, cleaned house, cooked dinner, and so much more. While Tommy is at work, she is certainly my support system. I will really miss her when she goes off to volleyball camp next month.

The boys are both doing good. Carter is anxious to get back to school....Samuel likes to hang out at home and watch as much TV as I will let him. The heat keeps them inside most of the day, but they have swam a few times, and really enjoy going to softball practice and games with their Dad in the evening. I am very excited to take them to Colorado next month for my 20th High School Reunion. Since we had to cancel our two week family vacation to Florida, this one week trip to Colorado will be welcomed. We are all looking forward to this trip as hopefully, I will be back to normal, and our family will feel back on track.

Long Road to Recovery

Well, I guess I jinxed myself by saying that tomorrow I would be better on my last blog. As you know, I had back surgery and was released from the hospital. I was doing pretty well that first week. I was walking without the walker, bending a little and even walked the boys to the bus stop at the end of our street. I even had a post op with my doctor and he said I was doing well.
On Mother’s Day, I became very sick and threw up all day long. I couldn’t even drink water with tossing it a few minutes later. I went to the minor ER and was given a few bags of fluid and some nausea medicine. I felt better when I got home.

The next day May 11th, I woke up feeling very strange. I began to hear voices in my head and had conversations with people who weren’t there about nothing that made sense. Tommy laid beside me on the bed and just held my hand as I really felt like I was dying. In fact, I was so out of it that when Josh came into my room to say he was headed to work, I told him that I was going to die and that I wouldn’t be here when he got home. I still feel awful for saying that to him…I can’t imagine how scary that was for him. Tommy thought I had taken too much pain medicine, but I hadn’t. In the mean time, I was beginning to develop this god awful headache. I had never experienced anything this painful. So, Tommy took me back to the Minor ER and I laid in a dark room for about 5 hours. They had no idea what was wrong with me. They told Tommy that he could take me back to the hospital in Austin (1.5 hrs away) or take me home. I begged to go back to the hospital via ambulance as I knew my head could not survive the ride by car.

I had somehow developed spinal mengenitis and my brain was swelling. Once I arrived to the hospital they took me right up to a room. I was in so much pain (in my head) that I was crying and yelling. They were doing everything to control my pain but nothing would touch it. I had been given so much medication that they had over dosed me. I was unresponsive for 4 minutes and they were about to reverse all the medication when I finally came around. Finally, my pain was getting more bearable and under control and I could finally be scheduled for surgery the next day. After surgery, I was in ICU for a day or so and was still hearing voices and talking non-sense, but at least I wasn’t in pain. During surgery they also discovered I had a staph infection. So needless to say, I was fighting an uphill battle and am still trying to climb out. It took days for me to start feeling better, but slowly I was coming around.

On May 19th, I had a CT Milo gram. It was a test that showed I had tears in my spinal sac and leaking spinal fluid. At the time we had no idea how the tares got there, but later learned that the harshness of my vomiting since the surgery on the 13th caused the tears to happen. So again I headed to surgery for the 3rd time on May 20th. The tears were repaired and we kept our fingers crossed. I was put on a super strong antibiotic via IV for the next 6 weeks to kill the mengenitis. Bad news is this antibiotic makes me sick and I have thrown up a few times which scares me because I don’t need any more tears.

Finally after being bed ridden for 2 weeks, I was able to get out of bed. This was a huge set back from the first back surgery, however I was released on May 23rd. I still have an IV in my arm and have to give myself this antibiotic every 12 hours until the first of July. My leg muscles completely lost everything. It has taken me two weeks to gain enough strength to be able to rise from a chair without help. I still need help getting dressed as my right leg and foot are still numb. It’s very difficult to walk when you can’t feel your leg or foot, but I am getting there.
My doctor said that in all his 22 years of experience, he has never seen anything this bad. There were two specific times that I knew I was on the edge of death. Thank God that I was strong enough to pull through. I never expected this to happen or I would have put off the original surgery. I know I can’t change what I didn’t know, but I could just kick myself every day. Good thing I couldn’t literally do it.

So for now…two week out of the hospital, I am still at home, using my walker 100% of the time, but I have managed enough strength to get out of a chair on my own. I am struggling with depression on most days, but know in my heart that I will get better eventually. My husband has been amazing and I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be in his shoes for those long two weeks. I really missed my kids and I am happy to be home with them, although my two older ones really took charge and helped out endlessly with the little ones.

I feel confident in saying that I am finally on the long road to recovery.

Hanging in There, But Barely

Here I am....home from the hospital and still in one piece.



I arrived at the hospital at 5:30am on Thursday morning...yes that meant waking up at 4am. I was glad I got an induced sleep later, but I felt sorry for Tommy. Everything went as planned....kissed Tommy good-bye at 7:30am and headed back for surgery. I remember thinking as they wheeled me back, "Wait! Stop! I've changed my mind!" I was very scared. I assumed that I would already be sleeping when they wheeled me back, but I wasn't. The surgery doors opened and I remember seeing so many people scrambling around doing their part. It was very cold and I really started to panic. I had to just close my eyes and tell myself that I was going to be okay.



I remember being told by a doctor that this medicine might sting a bit....yep, he was right...my arm felt like it was on fire. That was the last thing I remember....scary how fast a drug can put you out and how you will never be able to recall those lost hours. This was the first time I had ever been put under general anesthesia, which is why it was very difficult for me to wake up in recovery. Apparently, I had been in there for 2 1/2 hrs, but never really fully woke up. I just couldn't open my eyes and was soooo tired.



The surgery went well. The L5 disk was as damaged as the doctor had expected, which is to say there was no disk left. The S1 disk was questionable and the extent of repair would be determined once they got in there. The S1 disk was in pretty bad shape and needed to be replaced and fused also. There was quite a bit of nerve damage that wasn't expected which has left my right leg numb from the knee down. The left leg had some numbness too, but has already regained most of the feeling there. This could take a few weeks to return to normal. It is very hard to walk when you can't feel one of your feet.

I have to say that I am a big fan of muscle relaxers and hydrocodone....it makes everything better! I feel 50 pounds lighter (now that's a way to loose weight) and apparently I can fly with the best of them. The warm and comfy feeling I get with those is wonderful. It keeps the pain away and lets me rest, which is what is important I guess.

Meanwhile, Tommy now has a terrible virus. He has been down in bed since yesterday afternoon and I haven't seen much of him. I hope he starts to feel better soon because I am exhausted doing things on my own without his help. Amanda has been in school all day and Josh has been here off and on running errands, going to job interviews and taking to boys to T-ball when needed.

I'm hanging in there, but barely...maybe tomorrow will be better!

The Week From Hell

My week has been far less than ideal. Here is what unfolded for us this week.

Tuesday night we arrived home from work to find that Samuel had a fever of 102.3'. Poor baby, he was very winy just like sick kids are. His fever broke about 11pm that night. Just in case, I took him to work with me on Wednesday and kept him out of school. Just after 4pm Wed. afternoon the fever came back and was 102.9'. I was very worried; #1 because of this swine flu and #2 because I would be headed to the hospital the next day for surgery and would be gone for 3 days. So we had him checked out and he was tested negative for A-type flu. However, they couldn't rule out the swine flu so we were sent to the Urgent Care Center for more testing. After another hour of waiting, he was cleared and of course it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Meanwhile, at home on the same day, same time, Amanda was watching Carter. The boys play outside all the time in our yard and we check on them every 5-10 minutes. When Amanda went to check on Carter, he had followed our dog out of our yard and across the street. We live on a small, quiet cult de sac, however a slightly busier road is a few houses away. Well Carter had crossed the busier road when Amanda had found him. Carter was fine, however, the bad news came when he was spotted walking alone with the dog by a CPS worker. The worker and Amanda got to Carter at the same time, but this didn't stop the worker from calling the police. Amanda was devastated and crying when she called me while the worker yelled at her to get off her cell phone. So, yes we are now being investigated by CPS. Just another worry I didn't need the night before surgery. I tried calling the case worker when I got home from taking Sam to the Urgent Care Center, but only left a message. So far I haven't heard from her, so I'm not sure what the status of that is.

I sure hope that nothing comes of all that, I know its their job, but my kids are hardly neglected. Carter has never wondered off before, I guess with Sam not being there that day got him to wondering.

As we speak, I am still in the hospital. It went very well. The doctor said that it was a little worse than he had anticipated...I had some nerve damage on my right side. I am not in any pain, in fact this morning they took me off the automatic drip. I can dispense it myself if and when I need it. I was up and walking down the hallway yesterday, and did fairly well with that. My legs have some numbness in them from the nerve damage, however that will go away slowly and it already has.

I should get to go home tomorrow...I'm ready for my bed and to see the kids. I can't that all my friends and family enough. Your support has been uplifting and very helpful.

I will keep you all posted on the "happenings".

We Don't Want To Go Home!

I'm not much of the camping type, which is to say that I haven't been camping since I was a teenager. The accommodations in the picture above were far from a tent, sleeping bag and bug spray, but still it wasn't my bed.

The boys seemed to like getting away and sleeping in their new "Cars" sleeping bags, but for me it was just another house to clean. However, it did take far less time.

A few of Tommy's friends from high school planned this camping trip. I feel guilty calling this camping, so I will just call it a getaway. We all met in a quaint little town southwest of here called Fredericksburg. The town is of German decent and is full of antique stores. In fact, the tourists flock to the streets year round for shopping.

I wasn't able to partake in the shopping due to the fact that I had to work Saturday. I drove from said getaway to work, a total of 1.5 hrs each way, on Friday night and twice on Saturday. I didn't miss too much though...the visited a museum in the morning followed by an afternoon of playing dominos.

I did manage to throw around the football with the boys, play volleyball with Amanda, sit in the hot tub, drink some beer with a few new friends and just enjoy getting out of the house. Of course the boys had a blast...so much so that they didn't want to go home!