Can He Pass The Test?

I am very happy to say that when it comes to boys....Amanda is the pickiest person I've ever known. She desperately wants a "boyfriend", however, no one seems to measure up to her standards. This makes me happy because.... When she does find a boy, he will be a good one..at least I hope!

Well, there is this one boy that she has liked forever..that means 6 months or so. They met at the movies over the summer, but he had a girlfriend up until last week. Now, they are "seeing" each other but not technically going out. Whatever that really means....He seems nice enough, but that only to say that he is one of a very few that has the nerve to come over to our house and meet me.

Amanda and I have what we like to call the "grocery store test". If a boy can pass the grocery store test, then she will continue to pursue them, if not, they are out of there...... I have to say that so far, NO BOYS have ever passed the grocery store test. We go grocery shopping every Sunday afternoon and the "boy" of the day is invited to go with us. The rules are very simple, no throwing anything into the cart (these are our groceries not yours), no throwing food like a football (because Amanda is not impressed), no eyeing or flirting with other girls (bad way to start a relationship), and last but not least....don't act like an idiot (it embarrasses us).

The new boy will be put to the test soon. For Amanda sake and my sanity, I hope this one can pass the test. Not that I am trying to marry her off, but she is less moody and cranky when she has a boyfriend....even if it's for one day.

If I were a cat I would only have 8 lifes left....

With Joshua all finished with high school....he was eager to leave town for a few days to visit his girlfriend in Lubbock. With very little money, he set out very determined last Thursday. I was a little nervous..he has never driven that far or long alone before, but felt better knowing that the GPS I got him for Christmas would come in very handy. I tried to encourage him to wait until he got paid...but noooooo, mother's are never right! So, I decided to let him go and understand the repercussions.

Needless to say...I didn't hear much from him all weekend as I am sure he was parting it up with his new found friends and freedom. It was quiet, well kind of, all weekend which gave me the chance to finally paint our living/dining room. It was a project I had been wanting to do for at least a year. Trying to choose a color is like trying to find a cute puppy...there are just to many to choose from! So I finally decided on a classic taupe on all the walls with a sage green on my big living room accent wall. I also used a bronze sponging technique over the sage green and it turned out soooo pretty. I just love my new living/dining room, it almost feels like a new house.

Anyway...back to my story. Today, Joshua was headed home from Lubbock. The weather here is quite cold and is supposed to turn ugly tonight...that means we are supposed to have ice and snow... but since he was leaving at noon, I felt like he would be home in time to miss it. Now, with no money and a full tank of gas, thanks to mom's Shell card, he headed out around noon. The first text I received said that he had spent the last 20 minutes getting snow and ice off his truck, but he assured me that the roads were fine since people had been traveling them. It wasn't 30 minutes later, I got the phone call that every parent dreads....Mom, I just slid off the road, through a fence and into a field... Oh, I just knew this was going to happen. Yes, he was okay...just shock up as was I. I was relieve that he was able to drive out on his own with no damage and a very dirty truck. Needless to say...I made him turn around and go back. He is now safe and sound back in Lubbock and will hopefully try again tomorrow or Thursday.

My worst nightmare is for any of my children to be in a car accident. Especially when they are so far away from me. I am just happy this turned out ok. Me, well....I just gained a few more gray hairs.

Timing Is Everything...

One year ago this week we began the adoption process for the second time. I am a member of our adoption agency's yahoo group where old and new families chat about the process. So much is going on in Russia right now...I am so thankful to be done.

Kemerovo, the region where Carter was adopted from, is currently closed thus leaving many families in limbo with their adoptions. Keep in mind these families could have already received photos or even traveled to see their children already.

Last July, you many have read about the man in Virginia who's newly adopted son died because he forgot and left him in his SUV for 9 hours in 90' heat. http://loudounextra.washingtonpost.com/news/2008/dec/17/father-acquitted-manslaughter-sons-death-car/?local
This was big news back in July, at least for people adopting from Russia. I remember being scared that this would delay our trip in August. Mostly because back in March just after our 1st trip something similar happened, and it closed our region for a few months. We waited with several other families to be assigned a court date.

Well, now Russia is in an uproar again because this Virgina man has been acquitted because his conduct did not meet the legal standard for manslaughter, which requires "gross negligence." What buffoon, adoptive parent, or judge can think for a moment that death by heat stroke is neither horrible nor grossly negligently? Let's lock that judge in an SUV for a couple hours and see if he doesn't change his mind! How can a man "forget" to drop a child off at day care? Okay, we have all experienced going somewhere on auto pilot. So he gets to work and gets out of his car and starts his job. He spends the WHOLE DAY at work without a thought for his newly "acquired" son? What was HIS level of interest in that child? Something close to ZERO. Very sad to say the least.....

It just makes me appreciate the fact that we are done waiting and with the economy right now, NOT in the middle of another adoption. I feel for those who are and hope it isn't a long wait this time around.

Ready, Set, School...

Today was a rather hectic and stressful day.... It didn't start that way.. I had hoped to being painting my living room. However, a meeting with the speech therapist and elementary school came up which turned into an all day thing.

After our meeting, I was informed that Samuel could start pre-k as early as tomorrow. Since this is my only week day off, I rushed around getting necessary paperwork to enroll him.

In hopes to make this transition easier on Samuel (which really means easier on me) we went to meet the teacher and see the classroom. Inside the first door...my heart dropped into my stomach. He would be the only Caucasian child in the class and...what???...the teachers were only speaking Spanish. I immediately scolded myself for ever thinking this was a good idea.

Thank god...the director quickly told me this was not Samuel's class. Two doors down....now that's more like it. The kids were so sweet all saying hello to Samuel while he hid behind my legs. The teachers were very sweet and I am hoping for a smooth transition.

After running around getting copies of this and that all afternoon, Samuel is now officially registered for pre-k. The thought really makes my stomach ache. I have always been a tough mother...but the thought of putting this shy, crying, 5 year old on a school bus at 7am, scares the hell out of me. Yep...I will be the mother calling two or three times to check on her child. I'm not sure if I could get through it otherwise.


So...my fear has put this off one more week...mainly to give myself a few more days to stress over it. Samuel will start in February. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I can keep it together on his first day.


We did end the day on a good note. I took the boys for a much needed hair cut (see Samuel's before picture) and I have to say they are soooo adorable! This was Carter's first hair cut since being here. He was shaved bald when we picked him up in August. Their little faces just make my heart melt.... why can't they stay this way forever?

NO LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL...

I have always led a very busy life...to say the least. I didn't realize how busy and hectic until I emailed a good friend a few days ago. By the end of my catch you up email, I had written a book. I guess more happens each week then I realize.

With Joshua all finished with high school, I do feel like a small weight has been lifted off me. I do mean small....because he is self sufficient. Now I just worry about what time of morning he will wander into the house and how much beer he will consume during a weekend of beer-pong. He will be heading up to Lubbock soon to spend a few weeks with Chelsea and see how the college kids live. Won't have to worry about him one bit those two weeks......NOT!

Amanda is being nursed back to health by her very good on the eyes physical therapist. She injured her shoulder and knee during volleyball season. I am trying to find a reason to see him myself...as I am sure he could fix all my problems. :) Anyway... the coach has not being very cooperative of doctors orders to sit out 4-6 weeks. I finally had to take it to the head of the athletic department before the doctors orders were followed. A very stressful situation for me to say the least.

Tommy's cardiologist ordered a test on his adrenal glands (because of his high blood pressure) a few weeks ago. The adrenal glands came back fine, however there appear to be some notches on his lungs. He doesn't smoke, but his parents did and since lung cancer has been in his family he was referred onto a Pulmonologist (lung doctor). So now we wait again to see what these notches are.....I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I took both Carter and Samuel to a new speech therapist at the elementary school last week. Next year is kindergarten and I thought getting them in now with that therapist would help ease the transition when school starts. Since Samuel has hearing issues, they are concerned and want him admitted now into the Pre-K program so he can receive special services. This classifies him as a special ed student which is very hard for me to swallow. He is a smart boy and I hate for him to be classified this way so young just because of hearing issues. Apparently the special ed department is quite different that it was when I was in school. It would mean putting him on a school bus everyday. He would be in a regular classroom with all the other kids, but taken out each day for one-on-one speech therapy and if necessary would be fitted for special hearing equipment. I know the one-on-one would be great for him and I really believe they have his best interest at heart. However, this has all been overwhelming to me.

As far as Carter is concerned, although his English needs the most work, he isn't eligible because its a language barrier not a language disorder. They are bringing in a Russian translator to be certain. So, I am just going to have to keep working with him and hope that he learns enough by August so he doesn't start out behind.

I knew that adopting these boys could lead to challenges later in life for them. Both of their mothers were alcoholics and drank heavily during pregnancy. FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) can show up at anytime during their life. I knew there could be hurdles but so far these boys have done wonderful. Regardless, I know I am so lucky to have them as my children.

Thank god that I am the only one that doesn't need anything medically speaking. knock knock

I will just have to continue to be the glue that holds us all together......

It Only Took Her 5 days!

Well...finally after 5 days of being grounded, Miss Amanda, finally apoligized. She had been playing the silent game with me since Sunday and although the peace and quiet was nice, I did win that standoff!

I am sure her lack of communication with the outside world finally got the best of her. (No cell phone, no computer, no friends, no activities...just us old foggies, a dumb brother and two loud 5 year olds)

I'm still not sure if she is really sorry for her behavior or if she thought that by apoligizing she would get her stuff back. Which is why I told her that "Since it took you 5 days to admit what you did wrong, you will have 5 more days of being grounded."

See what being stubborn gets ya? If she would have only taken responsibility days ago, she would already be off the hook. Just a little bit of information you withhold until after they apoligize. (learned that in parenting 101)

You know as unfair as it might be...as parents, we get to make the rules! At least thats what my Dad told me when I was a teenager......

He Did It!

Today is Joshua's last day of high school and it brings an abundance of emotions for me. Yep, I am a crier...especially when my children are involved..

I am so proud of his accomplishment, although at times it was very rough, he made it though to the end and did whatever he had to do to get there. Including summer school, correspondence courses, cheating, ect. (Don't judge, we all did it)

I am sad because I know that in a few short months he will be going off on his own...and wow...I am really going to miss him. I love his sense of humor and how he makes me laugh every day.

I am scared because this is really the true test of parenthood. Does he know enough to survive on his own? Did I teach him everything he needs to know in order to be an honorable person in society? Did I teach him enough about how to make the right decisions? Does he know not to call Mom at 3am, when he's in a drucken stupier at a party?

I remember when I moved out on my own the day after graduation. My Mom was crying as I drove away and I remember thinking to myself, "Good Lord, I'm not dying, just moving out on my own." Well, now I know how hard it must have been for her. I am dreading the day when I he leaves for college, I know I'll be a basket case.

Josh is really a good kid. He has gotten in his share of trouble over the years...however he always seemed to learn from his mistakes. He accepted his punishments with maturity because he knew that he deserved them.

Josh...it was an uphill struggle at times, but I can't tell you enough how proud I am of you. I know that you will have a great time in college and I am confident that you will make an excellent art teacher. I love you!

Worries of a 5 Year Old

So this about my best attempt to draw my kitchen/dining room and living room area, please keep in mind these skills were learned in drafting 101 in high school Yes, that was 20+ years ago and although I did pass, I am not sure I learned anything. I did get carried away adding the dining room table and furniture, it was fun!!

Any who..... You will notice the two black dots that are sitting at our kitchen bar. Those are my two youngest sons, Samuel and Carter, who every single day argue over sitting who will sit on the end. I am not real sure why they fight over it....one would think because the one on the end could see the TV, however in the morning we don't turn on the TV so I guess they argue just to argue. The stools are exactly the same...I just don't get it.

Thrills and joys of parenting, I guess.

So to maintain my sanity, I am teaching them how to take turns. In doing so...they are about to drive me crazy. At least two times a day one of them will ask me, "It's my turn to sit on the end of the bar, right MOM?" They ask this while driving to school, sitting on the potty and even when tucking them into bed. Oh, the woes of being 5 years old and having your biggest worry be when it your turn to sit at the end of the bar.

At least they have mastered the idea of taking turns, which I am happy to be breaking my arm to pat myself on the back.

Little Russian Faces

January 7th marked Christmas for the Russian Orthodox Church. So each year we get together with our local FRUA Chapter (Families for Russian and Ukraine Children) for the annual Father Frost Party. Unlike Santa Clause and his elves, Russia has Father Frost and the Snow Maiden. I love going to this party each year because it really puts into perspective how many children have been spared the institutionalized life with loving new families. Watching these kids grow and play together is so satisfying.











It is mostly a get together for the kids to play while adults retell their stories over and over again, but non the less I love hearing them. The event is catered by the local Russian Deli and although it isn't to my liking, it fits the mood and celebration perfectly.


It was great to see our friends from Georgetown and their precious children. Carter and Jena (who were friends at the orphanage) really were happy to see each other. I wish I knew what they were thinking and what they remember.

This really is an event that most of the kids look forward to each year. It amazes me that they all seem to understand that these kids came from Russia just like them. It is a connection that they will remember and cherish forever.

Oh these sweet faces...I am overwhelmed with joy just watching them play and be happy. I wish that every person could visit those orphanges and really get an understanding of what a difference has been made in their life. We will be looking forward to the next get together in the spring. Maybe by then, more children will have made their way home.

15 Yr Old Serves Hard Time

I try very hard not to be naive with my children, in fact I feel that I am pretty insightful. So last night Tommy and I met up in Austin for drinks and dancing with some of his old friends. Amanda had one of her friends over and they wanted to go to the movies with a few of their "boy" friends. Joshua was in charge of watching little ones for us. Joshua agreed to drop the girls off, but since Sam and Carter would be sleeping, he would not be able to go pick them up. So after what seemed like hours of pleading, I agreed to let the "boy" friends give the girls a ride home. (After all it is only 2 miles tops)

The rules were very clear....

1. You better come straight home. (I gave them no more than 10 minutes to walk in the door from the time the movie got out)


2. The "boys" were to drop them off only. They were NOT to get out of the vehicle and they were NOT allowed to stay and hang out (inside, outside or otherwise).


3. She was to text me the second she got home.


4. I made it clear to not screw this up or it would for sure NEVER happen again!

So, her text came in with a few minutes to spare saying they were home., which Josh confirmed. I was happy and satisfied that my rules were followed and she was one step towards trustworthiness.

However, about 5 minutes later....another text arrives from Joshua, "Those boys aren't supposed to be here, right?" Well for her sake its good that I was actually an hour away in Austin. Since the dance hall was sooo loud, I sent Amanda a text, "Those boys better be gone in 60 seconds or I will call the police to escort them out...oh and let them know they are never allowed back!"

No response from Amanda......

Josh texts, "Geeze don't sell me out now she knows I told you. We gotta work on that one..... I just got offered $5 to keep my mouth shut so they could stay 30 minutes." (Don't you know that it costs more than that to bribe your brother?)

The "boys" were gone in 60 seconds of course, but still no response from Amanda. After making my way outside to 40' freezing temperatures, I make the call I knew she was regreting.

Sometimes, I wish that we had phones like the Jetsons did, you know the kind where we can see the other person and then I could have rung her little neck! She had the nerve to argue with me....of course that enraged me more! "It's no big deal, MOM!" We'll see how big of a deal you think it is when your ass is grounded (no cell phone, no friends, no laptop, no basketball games, no movies, no anything) at least for the next 2 weeks, and if I hear how it's not a big deal again, it will be twice as long until you understand just how BIG of a deal it IS!

I swear...just as you think you can trust them and that they make good decisions, then they go and pull crap like this!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Well, yesterday was my first week-day off work in quite some time (holidays excluded). Anyone that says being a stay at home Mom is an easy job, obviously hasn't done it. I knew my day was full so before I got going I made a list of all the things I needed to do. In all, I had numerous places to go, a dozen people to call, housework to be done, shopping to do, doctors visits, physical therapy appointments, ect, ect, ect. As I crossed things off, others got added as I remembered them. At the end of the day, I had managed to get almost everything done, however, I was exhausted and ready to pull my hair out if I had to hear one more argument from a 5 year old. Getting those two in and out of the car (while disturbing their movie) was a fight at every stop. I have to say that going to work is much easier, at least for me.

Although... going to work for me means dealing with the boys there too. I converted my office into half a play room when Samuel came home 3 years ago. They stay busy watching TV, riding scooters and playing out back. Things get hectic sometimes and I have to excuse myself from a customer to break up the latest argument. So I am taking my hat off to all stay at home mother's today. It IS the hardest job out there!

On another note....from the cutest things my kids say file, here is a conversations that Samuel and I had this morning on our way to pre-school.

Samuel: (with the up most seriousness he could muster) "Mom, I really want to get a girlfriend. How do I get one?" (like we could just stop at the store and pick one up)

Me: "Well, Samuel... you don't get a girlfriend, you ask a girl that you like to be your girlfriend."

Samuel: "Can I get one from Russia?"

Me: "Maybe when your older, but not now. A girlfriend is someone like Chelsea is to your brother, Joshua. They go to the movies together, hang out, and hold hands."

Samuel: "Well, I really like Claire in my class. She is pretty!"

So later when I picked the boys up from school, Samuel says to me, "I didn't ask Claire to be my girlfriend today, I will ask her on Monday."

In telling Tommy this story, after laughing his only comment was, "It's good news that he doesn't want a boyfriend."

I would love to know how the young minds work. Where in the world do they think up this stuff. It's just priceless.....

The Little Red Balloon

I'm not real sure if it was so long ago that I don't remember, or possibly that I was so young I didn't pay that much attention to the innocent things Joshua or Amanda said when they were little. I was only 19 when Joshua was born and 22 when Amanda was born. At that time in my life, I was in a far from ideal place in my marriage (but continued on for 9 years) that I now regret not paying attention to the little things that my kids did to make me laugh or smile. I hope that doesn't make me a bad mother, but if so, at least it's something I work very hard on now.

Anyway...yesterday Samuel and Carter were given a balloon while shopping in Wal-Mart with my Mom. She explained to them to hold on very tight because once outside the balloons could fly away. Of course I could have predicted that either one or both would fly away once outside.

It happened to be Samuel's little red balloon that got away. (Carter was holding his for dear life!) Naturally, he was upset. Well, great thinking on my Mom's part...she said "Don't be sad, you just made someone in heaven really happy today." This got Samuel asking questions about how the balloon would travel there and who would be getting it. He asked if maybe his Grandma Gail (Tommy's mother that passed away a few years ago) would be getting the balloon. My Mom say, "Maybe". Samuel thought about this for a few minutes before saying, "I wish I could go to heaven to see Gma Gail and get my balloon back." My Mom said, "Oh, I don't want you to go to heaven right now...I would miss you way to much." Samuel responded, "Oh, I will be right back...I will only be gone a minute."

I have to say that when my Mom told me this story, I just sat here wondering if I was ever going to remember these precious stories. Honestly, I don't remember very many from Joshua and Amanda younger years and that makes me very sad. I hope by keeping this journal and sharing it with my friends that somehow they won't be forgotten.

To Wii or not to Wii...

Believe it or not this weekend was my first experience playing and watching for that matter the Wii. We went over to some friends house for dinner and a Wii bowling tournament. The company as always.. wonderful, the beer was..oh so yummy, the enchilada's were AWESOME (especially for a white girl) and the Wii was so much fun. The bowling game was quite the challenge (It was different from the one that comes with the Wii) enough that Tommy threw in the towel and quit in the 6th frame. It seems that you have to throw the ball just right or you drop it behind you, which I did many times. After the poor display of bowling, we decided to try boxing. I am happy to say that I kicked my husband's ass in Round 2. Now that is a great way to take out a lot of frustration and get a hell of a work out all at the same time. Two days later, muscles that I didn't even know existed are still sore. What a great invention....wish I had thought of it, especially since all the store are still sold out. The playing of these childish games continued far into the night. Needless to say, I was up the very next morning and placed my order (I found one on eBay) for the Wii complete with the Wii Fit too in hopes to finally full fill what seems like years of New Years Resolutions to loose weight and exercise more.

I have managed to stick with one resolution so far which was to cut down or out, if possible, my excessive habit of drinking diet coke. So far I am 9 days into nothing but water (and the occasional beer on weekends). If you know me, you know that itself is a huge accomplishment.

As for other resolutions....I didn't make any more as not to disappoint myself later.

Amanda-isms

My beautiful daughter, Amanda, is an excellent and dedicated student with straight A's. However, this blond child will sometimes say the dumbest things. So much that I have started keep a list of what I call "Amanda isms". To start off the year on a laughing note, I thought I would share some of these with you.

• In 2005 at the age of 12 years old, as we were preparing for a family vacation to Hawaii, Amanda asked, "Are we gonna fly or drive?"
• This past Christmas Eve at the age of 15, we were discussing the Christmas game of capitals and states. Amanda said, "There must be a lot of Mexicans in Iowa since the capital is Des`moines." (You had to hear the spanish accent she put on that word)
• During the same discussion above, one of the presents had Juneau which is the capital of Alaska. Amanda says with attitude, "Alaska isn't even in the US, why did you pick that one?"
• In September 2008, we went to watch a Texas Tech/Red Raider football game. One of the star players last name is Crabtree. We went to a shop to buy a few T-shirts and there was a big inflatable crab over the doorway and Amanda says, "I didn't know they were the Texas Tech Crabs!" (This one was enough to keep us laughing all weekend long!)

I will continue to share these bone head statements with you throughout the year (I get several a month). We love them because she always makes us laugh, especially since she is so serious about it. I can't wait to see what she comes up with during our 24 hr car ride to Florida this summer. In her defence, she really is a smart girl, her mouth just works faster than her brain.